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just close your eyes and breathe

As work begins again, and the schedule was all out of whack from the wonderful weather, I have had to just close my eyes and breathe from time to time.  Winter can be depressing to begin with because you are stuck inside a lot, you know the winter blues.  I find myself with wandering thoughts while I try to write this blog so if I am all over the place I apologize.

2014 has brought about hope for a better me as a person, wife, mother, teacher, friend, daughter, granddaughter, etc....I strive to be good, but feel as though I fail a lot.  I know I am my own worst critic and let me tell you I am very hard on myself (this does not help depression or self-image issues)

Any who....not yelling is one thing I am working on...I want my house to be a happy house, happy husband and happy kids.  There have been some challenging moments in the past week that I could have yelled at the top of my lungs, but I have closed my eyes and just took a breath.  It is easier to just react before thinking about the situation, cooling down and then reacting.  I am working hard to think more before I react so I don't over react.  (the bathroom faucet getting left on and the bathroom flooding was definitely a time I could have yelled but I can proudly say I didn't). 

The students came back to school this week but everything still feels off because we missed Tuesday, went late Wednesday and then went all day Thursday and Friday (or at least I think that's what happened).  I'm a creature of habit, someone who likes things to be the same, I like to be in control and that is something I have to work on too.  It's very hard to get kids in a routine when the routine continually changes.  So I have had to close my eyes and breathe at work.

I have started trying to workout in some way shape or form this week....I started with Zumba and then added in sit ups and then did just sit ups Thursday and took yesterday off...I know I don't have to workout everyday to see results, but I know I will feel better if I do.  Hitting a goal in weight and workout routine will hopefully put me back on a track that I like.  I know after having a baby it's not as easy to get your body back....but when you weren't where you wanted to be to begin with....it's even harder. 

I'm just going to close my eyes and breathe and try to get over these winter blues before they really kick my butt.  Life is really full of exciting and joyful times and I don't want the depression or negatives around to take any of the good times away.  I have a precious 16 month old that puts a smile on my face daily and I am forever thankful to God for that blessing.  He truly is mama's pride and joy and I am so proud of the little boy he is becoming daily.  He teaches me more and more as I am teaching him. 

My mind continues to wander so I am going to find the end to this entry.  Here are a few positives from this week....
 
1  Noah turned 16 months old
2  I made it through the work week
3  I have worked out four times so far this week
4  it is the weekend and I get to spend time with my two men
 


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